Monday, October 8, 2012

for laura

I think it's because I've really been missing her lately (I miss her all the time), or perhaps, I've been spending too much time watching old, feel-good movies and soaking up the beautiful fall; I really miss my little sister tonight.

Laura deserves an entire post unto herself (multiple eventually), because she's hands down, flat out my best girl in the whole world. Not in a cheesy way - in an incredibly real, every hour of everyday way. Laura is 22 (two and a half years younger than I am) and she was just married this summer. In many ways, she and I are very different. I'm ultra-sensitive to what people think of me, while Laura is constantly self assured and un-phased by the opinions of people that don't TRULY know her. I'm more of traveler/experimenter and Laura is more of a homebody/settler. Laura is self-reliant, calm, resourceful, and INCREDIBLY humble. Even though I'm her big sister, I find myself constantly watching how she handles tough situations and thinking, "Where did she learn that from?" Not this mad-clown of a sister, who can turn into a puddle of mush over gaining a couple pounds or a boy not thinking I'm the bees knees. No Sir. She's usually the one listening to my wounded phone calls that almost always end with something like "Thanks for listening to me unload all that garbage...I'm sorry I just bawled to you for an hour."

Yep, when it came to the world around us, Laura has always (since toddlerism), been willful, strong, and vocal about almost everything.

I have far too many stories of Laura (many funny and MANY that bring tears), however tonight I'm reminded of a fall evening not very many years ago when I had been out with my friends late once again. I came into my parents house and went straight to my room. Quickly opening my computer to scan blogs and Facebook updates, it wasn't until a good 20 minutes rolled by until my mother came into my room and suggested I go talk with Laura. "She seems a little down tonight." After knocking on her door and pushing her for information for about a half hour, Laura finally broke down and said very matter-of-factly, "It's you. I need more time with you. I know that might seem selfish, and I know you're busy...but sometimes I wish you'd slow down and just be here more."

I wanted to shout, "That's not selfish! I love spending time with you! I had no idea!" Instead, I held her and apologized for not noticing that our quality time had been vastly insufficient. My sister gave me something incredibly important that night. She made me realize that our loved ones don't always know they are important to us, and she vulnerably let me know I was important to her. That's probably one of the toughest things to do sometimes.

Anyway, what I wanted to get to (and the reason I'm posting this somewhere you will find), is that you're pretty super, rockin' Laura Marie. You're my favorite.

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